Wednesday, 20 May 2009

Radio 1's crap gaming weekend!

As anyone will tell you, the best medium to review videogames on is of course the radio. Who needs to the distraction of graphics and sound when the simple voice of a monotonous presenter/expert to tell you about it. Which is why the BBC- in their infinite wisdom- decide that after years of pretty much ignoring the games industry to dedicate the upcoming bank holiday weekend to videogames. So if this weekend, your 360 gets the red ring of death or youporn is on the blink then you can have your intelligence insulted by Radio 1 and 1extra with this shower;

“The weekend will be jam packed with gaming themed content from reviews, to soundtracks, DJ leaderboards and a poll to find the best game ever.Whether you're into collecting gold coins, eating blue ghosts, performing unearthly fighting combos, fitting shapes together against the clock or multiplaying with distant friends there will be something for all gamers.The highlight of the weekend will be BBC Radio 1 & 1Xtra hosting an online poll to find the greatest ever computer game. A panel of industry experts will compile a list of their top 100 games and then listeners will be invited to choose their top three from the list.”

But don’t despair, PG has you covered if you are stuck listening to this cobblers, as you can make a little game out of it! And because I’ve made it up, it involves drinking.

Basically take a shot every time;
Someone uses the expression “geek” “nerd” “Anorak” . Take two if the person saying it is an expert (the station’s own Johnny Minkley for example) or professional reviewer
Someone says “playstation” or “Xbox” or “Wii” when they mean videogames or games consoles. Take two shots if they just say Nintendo. And take three shots if a DJ uses Space Invaders (or any other game that’s over 10 years old) as a blanket term for all games
When someone says any game that just came out in the last 12 months is the best game ever. With fable 2 and Fallout 3 as the allowed exceptions. Take two shots if any of the praised games are a Need For Speed or Fifa (or any crummy yearly update title) and take three shots if it’s a non-game (i.e. cooking mama or Wii fit) or a game that hasn’t even been released yet.
If you hear a game theme you recognise. If the DJ plays it for less than 30 seconds and talks all over it then have another.
If some bright spark DJ gives out their gamertag/ PSnetwork id on air. Consider yourself a friend of PG if you abuse them online and send us the footage
If some has been from an old gaming Tv show (Dave Perry, Dominick Diamond, Matt Cuttle et all) guests. As above, we’ll love you forever if you phone in and abuse them and send us the audio
If anyone says “computer games” instead of “videogames”. Which is wanky I know but they’re my rules so there. Ignore if it’s in reference to a PC game.

Hopefully that should help pass the time until Charlie Brooker‘s Gameswipe. If you make it through the entire weekend then your next port of call should be

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