He's super cool and he knows Kung Fu!

Yeah I know it's been a while since the last post, and this has nothing to do with videogames. But after finding nothing of remote intrest in the games world over these last few months (the topless pics of Kate Billingham have been taken down)we thought it time to expand our horizons beyond playing portal, pissing off games publishers and searcing the net for upskirt pics of Lily Allen. So PG is branching out into others forms of media now, because no one asked us to!
So we start with this gem. The trailer to Blacksploitation tribute/parody; "Black Dynamite" Starring Michael Jai White (spawn, the dark knight and that shit universal soldier sequel)a UK release is yet to be confirmed

Alien vs Predator latest trailer...SENTRY GUNS BITCHES!

Check out the latest trailer for the upcoming Alien vs Predator. With the focus being on the xenomorph fodder that is the Colonial Marines.

GTA: Ballad of Gay Tony latest

For all you players of GTA4 that have already played the hell out of it and still enjoying (if not already finished) The Lost and Damned. Well Rockstar have just confirmed the release date for the second piece of DLC, "The Ballad of Gay Tony" which will be available worldwide from October the 29th. But if you're new to the GTA 4 bandwagon or don't have your 360 online (which means you're probably can't read this either) then Rockstar have that covered too as on the same worldwide date you can buy Grand Theft Auto: Episodes From Liberty City. Which is The Lost and Damned and The Ballad of Gay Tony on disc and will not - and I repeat, WILL NOT- require a copy of GTA4 to play it so you're saved having to shell out for the original game (although you should really , it's good) or waste valuable playing seconds on disc swapping. No UK price has been confiemed yet (about 40 dollars in the States) but we'll keep you posted that one.

Marvel vs Capcom 2: 29th July

We now offically have a date for when you'll be able to play Marvel vs Capcom on on the Xbox live arcade. July the 29th for the price of 1,200 microsoft points. It's a straight up conversion of the original game but does have the option to smoothen out the graphics.

The Conduit (Wii) the final trailer

Just a couple of weeks until The Conduit comes out for the Wii. July 10th to be exact and it's looks like it cracks along at a fair old rate with fully customisable controls and 12 player online mode (we'll see about that)

New Max Payne 3 screens

With the release listed as "Winter 2009" it seems from the shots that we're still gonna have the same tried and tested gunplay but this time the setting has been moved to South America with Max sporting a new Vin Deisel/Chuck Norris look.

Gamed1k

If you've ever been on Xbox LIVE and encountered someone who only there to annoy you, and is the bane of your existence... then you've probably come across someone like Gamed1k.


The first episode of Gamed1k, a satirical machinima comedy highlighting the kind of gamers that one may come across on a typical day of Xbox LIVE.

Check it out...

Bayonetta E3 Trailer

From the accalaimed team that brought us Mad World- Platinum Games comes the latest trailer for the spiritual successor to Devil May Cry; Bayonetta. Despite dodgy British accents, it's looking pretty good

Vaz watch

Our moral guardian, MP Keith Vaz. Who has been on a crusade to rid our shores of the evil that blights our young. Or videogames as everyone else calls them. Well it seems he must've exposed himself to the evils of manhunt 2 because it must have caused him to forget that when he claimed more than 75,000 pounds expenses for a flat in Westminster when his family home (worth over ojne million pounds) was only 12 miles away from the house of commons. About 40 minutes by car. Add to this;
£480 on silk cushions
£2614 on two leather chairs and stool
£1000 on a dining table
£750 on carpets
£100 on a lamp

more of this shithouse's carry on can be read on the story below
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/mps-expenses/5298267/Keith-Vaz-75000-for-a-flat-12-miles-from-home.html

Wez and Larry's Top Ten Wacky Japanese Games

Yes, it's those guys. And now they're on http://www.thatguywiththeglasses.com/

Oh yes, that very popular website! So check out their video by clicking on the link (which was on TV 100 years ago, but nevermind).

And after watching that, check out possibly one of the most amazing internets videos ever made below, the TGWTG 1 Year Anniversary Brawl! It includes nearly every video game internet celebrity, from ThatGuywiththeglasses to The Angry Video Game Nerd! That's right! Even everyone from Handsome Tom to SpoonyOne! Check 'em out

http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/bt/guruandwez/top10/7292-top10wackyjgames

Alien Vs Predator teaser and screens

Made by origianl dev team rebellion (behind the classic 1999 game) have a look at the newest screens and teaser from Sega

Radio 1's crap gaming weekend!

As anyone will tell you, the best medium to review videogames on is of course the radio. Who needs to the distraction of graphics and sound when the simple voice of a monotonous presenter/expert to tell you about it. Which is why the BBC- in their infinite wisdom- decide that after years of pretty much ignoring the games industry to dedicate the upcoming bank holiday weekend to videogames. So if this weekend, your 360 gets the red ring of death or youporn is on the blink then you can have your intelligence insulted by Radio 1 and 1extra with this shower;

“The weekend will be jam packed with gaming themed content from reviews, to soundtracks, DJ leaderboards and a poll to find the best game ever.Whether you're into collecting gold coins, eating blue ghosts, performing unearthly fighting combos, fitting shapes together against the clock or multiplaying with distant friends there will be something for all gamers.The highlight of the weekend will be BBC Radio 1 & 1Xtra hosting an online poll to find the greatest ever computer game. A panel of industry experts will compile a list of their top 100 games and then listeners will be invited to choose their top three from the list.”

But don’t despair, PG has you covered if you are stuck listening to this cobblers, as you can make a little game out of it! And because I’ve made it up, it involves drinking.

Basically take a shot every time;
Someone uses the expression “geek” “nerd” “Anorak” . Take two if the person saying it is an expert (the station’s own Johnny Minkley for example) or professional reviewer
Someone says “playstation” or “Xbox” or “Wii” when they mean videogames or games consoles. Take two shots if they just say Nintendo. And take three shots if a DJ uses Space Invaders (or any other game that’s over 10 years old) as a blanket term for all games
When someone says any game that just came out in the last 12 months is the best game ever. With fable 2 and Fallout 3 as the allowed exceptions. Take two shots if any of the praised games are a Need For Speed or Fifa (or any crummy yearly update title) and take three shots if it’s a non-game (i.e. cooking mama or Wii fit) or a game that hasn’t even been released yet.
If you hear a game theme you recognise. If the DJ plays it for less than 30 seconds and talks all over it then have another.
If some bright spark DJ gives out their gamertag/ PSnetwork id on air. Consider yourself a friend of PG if you abuse them online and send us the footage
If some has been from an old gaming Tv show (Dave Perry, Dominick Diamond, Matt Cuttle et all) guests. As above, we’ll love you forever if you phone in and abuse them and send us the audio
If anyone says “computer games” instead of “videogames”. Which is wanky I know but they’re my rules so there. Ignore if it’s in reference to a PC game.

Hopefully that should help pass the time until Charlie Brooker‘s Gameswipe. If you make it through the entire weekend then your next port of call should be www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk

Sony to publish Ghostbusters

Spare a thought for the Ghostbusters videogame. Originally owned by Activision, who didn't want it. Then sold to Atari. And now the Euro publishing rights to the PS2, PS3 and PSP versions have been sold to Sony for a June 19 release. Where this leaves the 360 and Wii versions in unknown at this point in time

Sega's Wack World Of Sports

While we wait for Wii virtua Tennis, Sega cover the bases with sports themed party game; Wacky World Of Sports, based around obsure sporting events like tuna tosing (whatever you do don't google it like I did) and furniture racing. It's set for a late 209 release

PDC 2009 preview

If your idea of professional darts is a bunch of sozzled labourers chucking bits of brass about in a dingy old pub, then you're an ignorant fool. Because the PDC premier league of darts pulls in audiences only second to premiership football with it's electric atmosphere and heart stopping finishes. So as a sport rises in profile the inevitable tie-in game isn't far off. I was down at the Sports Cafe in London's west end last week to have a little go on the latest PDC game on the Wii.

As on the previous Wii game, you hold the remote much like a real dart for aiming, tis is where a very gentle touch is required to line up the reticule while holding down the A button. Then motion the remote like throwing the dart before releasing A. Getting the right amount of force in the throw is where the skill lies and is tighter than the last PDC game on the Wii. Being an official license you can choose from 18 players from the PDC along with their entrances and commentary from the legendary Sid Waddell.

PDC 2009 comes out on the Wii and DS on the 29th of May

SF4 championship mode free!

In an act of charitable kindness only rivalled by Jesus Christ when healed the sick. Capcom bring us their latest bit of DLC for absolutely free! That's right, Street Fighter 4's new championship mode wont cost a penny. Which is nice


"Championship Mode offers you the chance to compete in five different grades of tournaments, creating the right challenge for players of every skill level. You’ll score Grade Points (GP) for tournament wins, and as your GP total grows, you’ll become eligible to enter into more exclusive tournaments. Winning tournaments will also net you Championship Points (CP). CPs are like “prize money” up for grabs in the tournament. The higher the GP skill of the players in a particular tournament, the bigger the CP prize!"
So hopefully newer players won't get swamped by all the top tier players online and you'll be able to go over tournament matches in the rplay mode, watching the best matches and even being able to view an on screen display of the button inputs so you learn all the dirty tricks. The mode will avliable to download on the 24th of April for both 360 and PS3

Some new Brutal Legend screens

coming soon to the 360 and PS3 is the latest game from Tim Schafer and Double Fine, so you know it'll be intentionally funny in a game described as a "Rock Adventure" game. From the trailer that came out a year ago I'm hoping it's more so a hack and slash 'em up with a much needed sense of humour.

New Call of Duty!

Not much to go on at the moment other than the release date (10th November) and that you'll be fighting terrorists. And that it seems to be going under the name Modern Warfare 2 as opposed to C.O.D. 6.
Roll on November says us
http://www.modernwarfare2.com.

Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks

Here's the trailer to the latest Zelda game, Spirit Tracks, for the DS. Looking much like Wind Waker and Phantom Hourglass before it, but the new addition of traveling on a train.

Rhythm Heaven just around the corner

Slated for a April 5th release date for the DS, Rhythm Heaven has been quite popular in Japan with it's rhythm action gameplay crossed with WarioWare style mini-games.

Which I know annoys the hell out of us on the whole but seeing it actually being played reminds us that the DS alone is suited for games like this that you can use to pass a few minutes here and there.

New shots of The Conduit

a sci-fi based first person shooter for (low and behold) the Wii. That's right, a developer finally twigged that the Wii controls actually work for a FPS. Although it's been noted it wont be using the upcoming Wii motion-plus. But if it works like metroid prime 3 did then we'll be laughing

More proof Ninty don't give a toss about the west

You may think it's brilliant over in Japan. They get all the games before us mugs in Europe, sometimes software that'll never see the light of day over here and they go around molesting girls on trains willy nilly. While we wait upon nintendo to even regestre our existance over here in Blighty. Well that ideal takes another step towards truth as in Japan some elementary and middle schools in Osaka Japan are handing out free DS' to students to aid with their learning. The Osaka education board made using the DS as part of school laerning in January with software such as Brain Age and My Japanese Coach.
Where as over here, nintedo have just added twenty pounds on the price of a Wii to retailers so a Wii price hike may be on the cards so dixons and the like don't lose out on pocket.
Thanks Nintendo!

What shithead put water in my gin glass!

We at PG are much looking forward to Madworld on the Wii. And not just because it looks amazing and is brought to us by a top team of developers (who were part of making Resident Evil and Okami) but mainly because it's a new Wii title that isn't mini-game complilation number 246. So leading up to it's release, why not laugh at how rubbish the two blokes are out of the deathwatch segements by viewing their outtakes



and if you still can't wait then amuse yourself with the madworld mini-games off the site; www.madworldtv.co.uk/minigames

Virtual On coming to xbox live arcade

"Available for the first time on Xbox LIVE, Virtual On features high-octane mech action with 15 playable Virtuaroids. Players can choose how they want to play as each mech has its own defining characteristics. The game delivers an online 1 vs. 1 multiplayer battle mode, as well as fast-paced single player action through 10 Arcade-mode levels and 14 Score attack stages. Virtual On features numerous ways to earn achievements as well as voice communication."

Coming this spring time. Virtual On was one of the Saturn's (and to another extent the Dreamcast's) lost cult gems. This should certianly be more playable with the 360's dual sticks

Jonathan Ross lets slip about Fable 3

After presenting an award at the still pointless videogame BAFTAs Wossy posted on his twitter account;

"Goodnight all. Must go to bed. Got asked to do voice in Fable 3 tonight. Subarashi. Oyasuminasia. Woss out."

He also later let slip that tv critic and host of Screenwipe, Charlie Brooker would also be providing a voice over.

Inside The Xbox 360 - Through the Tech Hole

We don't like to advertise here, but we're going to this time because this video is a highly informative look at the innerds of an Xbox 360 console



The video is so popular right now that the internets almost collapsed with people saying "I can has moar?"

Check it out and be a sheep. Or don't check it out and be deemed uncool. It's up to you.

UFC 2009 Undisputed trailer

http://www.thq-games.com/uk/thqtv/index/2729

Coming for the PS3 and 360 with over 80 fighters from the UFC roster (whether that will include past champions like Royce Gracie or Ken Shamrock is not yet known) and a innovative control system that will hopefully make it more accessible than the previous UFC games. Release date is yet to be confirmed

Platinum Games shows us how to open game box

Cheers for that! Who says developers don't care about gamers needs.

However, if you want to win some unspecified stuff then enter their compitition. All is required is you buy the game and get a mate with a camera.

"Take you camera with you when you go buy MADWORLD. Take a picture or a video of you with the game, either in the act of purchasing or after you have purchased. Just like kills in MADWORLD, the more elaborate the picture, the better your chances of winning. Multiple people in the photo is a good start. Making it black, white, and red - even better. Get creative, get original. Once you are done, post a link to the photo or video here in the comments. Make sure to fill in the email address field or we can’t contact you if you win."

This is the place to send your entries to

http://platinumgames.com/2009/03/06/madworld-unboxing-and-madworld-release-day-contest/

the closing date is march 28th.

Virtua Tennis 2009 trailer

coming to the PS3, 360, PC and Wii

crap Ryu, only a snip at 10 grand

In money conscious times where capcom feel it necessary to cough up for extra costumes in Street Fighter 4, why not help the economy further by buying this painting of Ryu by brit artist Dave White. It's been estimated at about seven to ten thousand pounds for something that looks like a bored art student scribbled in the back of his maths book. I mean it's just a head and it's not even in colour! You can get a full colour poster of all the SF characters for just about four quid.

Hold my DS fatty

For the price of a bit more than a new DS game you too can have a little figureine of Mario that holds your DS. Brilliant. No more will you have to put your DS in a drawer or on a table like all the rest of us mugs

Out with the old and in with the older

well now that whats 'is face has gone to pastures new. So that means there's a new sherrif in town. That being me. It's gonna be a bit slow at first but rest assured I'm just as spiteful and unprofessional as anyone else around here so don't worry about things changing for the softer side of things.

Liam

Parental Guidance becomes Gamerphile.

It's been a good run, but times change and so do websites. We're moving to a much bigger and better website, and switching this one off. Gamerphile will have all of the writers can content you love, just on a much better page. We hope you will continue to enjoy our work as we continue to enjoy writing it.

You can find the new site here: Gamerphile

Article by: Edwin Jones.

New Left 4 Dead content confirmed by Valve.

Well, it's about time.

Valve have confirmed more content for Left 4 Dead on 360 and PC today in the form of two new Versus mode campaigns (probably the two missing co-op campaigns at last) and a survivor mode. I think I speak for the whole internet when I say that this is awesome.

Article by: Edwin Jones

Sony are suffering a serious slump in sales.

Whu-oh. The Global economic crisis seems to have hit another high profile target, this time a little closer to our gamer hearts than Woolworths according to Kotaku. Sales are down on every major system from the PSP to the PS3. Even the PS2 is not selling as well as it used to.

We hope that this is not as serious an issue as it has been for other companies as nobody wants to see Sony leave the gaming arena. Somebody has to keep Microsoft from getting all evil and Nintendo from being the only Japanese console manufacturer. Get well soon Sony.

Article by: Edwin Jones

The Resident Evil 5 demo is out on Xbox Live. Now.

Well, it is. And it is slightly dissapointing I must say. In a world with Gears of War in it, not being able to move, aim and shoot is ghastly. Having a partner you can't get rid of who gets killed by enemies because of her own stupidity which ends the game for you both is also just pants. You can do better than this Capcom, hold the game back and fix these issues. The graphics are very good though, so stick with them. Less screen tearing though please.

Article by: Edwin Jones

Fallout 3 updated

Like Fallout 3? Good news for you and several million other people then.

The powers that be have decided to give us a patch for the game on all formats that will stop random crashes, infinite XP exploits and which will let you drop now useless quest items clogging up your inventory. Sweet!

For more details click here.

Article by: Edwin Jones

UK games sales higher than ever

Happy new year!

It's a little late but the year is still young. To start off on such a new year how about some good news about the economy instead of all the bad stuff?

according to Eurogamer, over 80 million games were sold in the U.K. last year. That's almost 2 billion pounds (not dollars) in game sales. Crikey. This is about 23% higher than 2007 so although the economy is suffering games are yet again not taking any notice. Hurrah!

Here come the dark side of it so get ready to grit your teeth - most of these sales are to casual gamers. We are talking about everybody who bought wii-fit here. Sadly, real gaming is taking a back seat to Nintendo's money machine but they have made it clear for a long time now that they care about money and not an innovative or playable game. No, they want novelty toys for adults and by god do they sell a lot of them.

Don't blame Nintendo. Blame your parents. In fact, go out and buy them GOW 2 or Fallout 3 right now to show them how awesome games can be. A 360 can be bought for less than £100 these days so it's not hard to give them one. If nothing else they won't try to anger you again after seeing how ridiculously gory those games are. If you want to be a wimp about it get them 'Scene It' or something.

Wuss.

Article by: Edwin Jones